Person in highlight: Dr Kayla - a Perth based paediatric dietitian.
Hey everyone,
I’m going to go back to my nutrition roots in this blog post. Feeding kids is one of those big challenges that never goes away and I’m sure dates back as far as humans can remember once we had a couple options to feed our kids with.
The biggest questions parents seem to face are:
- what should I feed my (bloody) child?
- how do I get my (damned) kids to eat?
- how can I make meal times fun (before I end my life)?
Since I’ve experienced some level of success with my two (one of which has a sensory sensitivity) I will share what we did / still do. I’ll then share some different types of fussiness along with some helpful strategies to help overcome them.
For context, from the age of 2 my son had some pretty intense sensory sensitivities. For example he would only eat weetbix, crackers, apple, strawberries, yoghurt and maybe chicken nuggets. That was it. Not even the typical plain pasta, rice, cheese, burgers, pizza, sausages were tolerated. He would melt down if a vegetable was sitting on his plate. He also would not pick up food up with his fingers so sandwiches were not even a thing until last year (he is 6 now). He would also refuse daycare food so we usually packed him a lunchbox.
It was a big challenge but we managed to stay a team and get through it together as best we could. Things are much better now!
Before I share what supported progress I'd like to remind everyone of three important things:
1. No one knows all the answers
2. You can employ ALL the answers perfectly and still struggle to get your child to eat. Sometimes they just need time.
3. Yes it’s a good thing to try to improve BUT at the end of the day most kids will grow up into adult who eats a wide range of foods. So please don’t judge yourself or feel bad about it.
Ok so here are the meal time rules we followed:
1) Adults choose what goes on the plate but offer liked & non liked foods
2) Kids choose whether to eat it, and how much of it to eat
3) Don’t talk about the food – no commenting, no exclamations & no emotions!!
I actually came across this advice in an AMAZING free webinar by Dr Kyla (a paediatric dietitian). I’ll provide a link to the presentation at the end of the post.
We threw in a couple more of my own personal rules as well:
4) Kids need to try one bite before deciding they don’t like it
5) Anything with the same sugar content as coca cola (that’s 10g or more of sugar per 100g) was classified a treat. This ended up including juice, most kids yoghurts, muesli bars and most cereals. :/
Exceptions
Full disclosure I did sometime use bribes to encourage the kids to eat (you’re not supposed to do this according to Dr Kayla - oops!) We followed the rules about 80% of the time. The other 20% we just fed them whatever.
Mistakes
Also I will share here that in the early days I lost my temper many times which I deeply regret. It doesn't make sense. I ended up doing a deep dive into my anger which revealed I was upset because of all the wasted food. It's always good to explore your anger to discover the real source of it.
I also struggled with guilt because I was concerned about my son’s health. I did my best to recognize my errors and learn better habits because as a child, meal times became scary. Yelling, screaming and severe punishments were dealt out if I didn’t eat all the food. Anyway the last thing I wanted for my kids was to feel stressed at meal times so it was something I became determined to deal with quickly.
**If you're in the same boat with loosing your temper I want to encourage you - it's not too late to reverse. You can use mistakes as an opportunity to reconnect and build trust. Go ahead and read this blog post about reconciliation and you will feel so much better!
Types of Fussiness
Now let’s list different types of fussiness and some strategies that might help with each. You may wonder if there are really different types of fussiness, and the answer is yes – the proof lies in the complexity of human nature. Our motives, fears and quirks are all different, but we usually present ours in a pattern. Each of your children will benefit if you get to know their quirks and take it into account by adjusting your strategies a bit! Here we go:
Types of fussy:
1. Sensory Challenged
2. Hunger challenged
3. Compliance Challenged
4. Taste challenged
Here are some helpful strategies that address the specific challenge of each type
1. Sensory Challenged
These kids have strong aversions to certain textures, smells, and dislike unpredictability
a. Games: Encourage your child to be comfortable touching the food first before attempting to eat it. Instead of eating foods, use them to play games and only games until they are comfortable touching it. Try playing catch with a carrot, making shapes out of cooked rice or matching colours of lentils.
b. Little bits more often: plan small but frequent interactions. For example, play the carrot game everyday or every / other day for just 30 seconds at a time. Or if they started eating something new, plate it up weekly (otherwise they’ll probably forget they liked it).
2. Hunger Challenged
Sometimes kids just aren’t hungry enough to be interested in food, or, are hyperfocused on wanting to finish eating so they can go play
a. Reduce snacking (make snacks smaller or earlier in the day)
b. Wait until they’re hungry (if you have that luxury)
c. Avoid FOMO.
Again if you have the luxury to do so – try eating outside which has nice scenery for distraction but is also away from toys / trampolines / tvs.
3. Compliance Challenged
These kids need to feel like they are in charge of what they eat and will make sure you know they’re in charge.
a. Illusion of choice
Let them choose between two options. For example: show them two foods and say: would you like the red one or the orange one?
b. Show zero emotion
Reeeeally focus on not talking at all about the food. Give absolutely no hint that you are in anyway excited/sad/pleased in how the eat. For example: Do not celebrate when they eat a vegetable because this reveals your investment in them eating it and they will immediately stop eating it!
4. Taste challenged
Sometimes kids refuse to try something or will try it once but don’t like the taste. Most of the time they’re just not used to it yet.
a. The 20 rule
Experts say it can take up to 20 TIMES for a child to like a new food! Keep trying!
b. Go tiny
It may seem ridiculous but putting just two peas, a tiny carrot square or a quarter of a tomato is so much less daunting for them to try. Once you’ve won them over with that small amount, you can increase it to two, then three etc.
That's it!
I hope some of the information in this post has helped you in some way or has at least given you ideas on what to try next. Thanks for reading and please let me know if you have any questions by commenting below.
Click below to download the webinar presentation from Dr Kyla (I added some notes in red)
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